Friday, May 7, 2010

The Funeral and Days After

First, I'd like to welcome and thank our newest followers to the Roadrunner Chronicles:
Lady Hayley 
Carol K


This is the second in the two part series remembering the passing of our daughter-in-law Meghan Baker.  I hope it will be useful two fold:  to us as we look back in the days, months, and years to come and; to those of you that have been with us through this and are interested in some of the events of those few days.

On Friday, we left the Roadrunner for Petrolia near 8:00 AM.  My brothers Reid and Brad (with wife Sue) flew in to Detroit late Thursday night and stayed at hotels near the airport.  The GPS on the rental car worked fine when they picked up the car, but when they started the drive to Petrolia, it was not working correctly.  They had to return to the car rental lot and get another vehicle.  They made it to the church on time.

Our friend Tiffany (with son Aaron) drove from Virginia on Thursday.  They arrived in the afternoon in time to attend the evening visitation at the funeral home in Petrolia.   They spent the night with us at the RV.  It is a two hour drive from the RV to Petrolia.

Friday was a beautiful sunny day.  We went to Bakers house first, then all drove over to the St Philip's Catholic Church together.
The parking lot filled up quickly.  As it turned out the church was packed.  There must have been 400 people at the service.  It was nice to see so many there.

The service began on time at 11:00 AM.  We gathered at the back of the church with the Bakers and Meghan's friends who were part of the 'poll bearers'.  The service started with "It is Well With My Soul" which Adam requested.
Then Adam took the urn with Meghan's ashes off the back table and followed the deacon down the aisle. Meghan's parents, her brother Brad and fiance Christine were ahead of Pam and I.

The service was lead by Catholic Deacon Chuck.  He offered some prayers and then then six of us spoke about Meghan.  Adam led the way with an amazing tribute.  We have never been prouder of him as we have these last two years of Meghan's and his journey together.

As I said in a previous post, the service was very well done.  It was fitting, appropriate and full of hope.  Sometimes funerals are not that way.  This was  --  and it could not have gone any better.

Afterwards, there was a reception in the parish hall and lots of food.  It was nice to meet more of Adam and Meghan's friends.
A large group came from the Toronoto area.  Meghan went to university near there at St Catherines.  Adam had a friend drive to the funeral from Chicago, one flew in from New York, four others from Washington DC.  It was nice of everyone to make the effort and it was very much appreciated.

After the reception we went back over to the Baker's house for a while.  Later that evening about 16 drove up to the Bradley cottage near Tobermory, four hours away.  That is where Meghan and Adam were to have a public wedding on July 10.  (They were married in a private ceremony on March 27 at the Baker's home in Petrolia.  They didn't want to make a big deal of the private ceremony and focused more on the July date instead.)
The weekend time at the Bradley cottage (named after Meghan's grandparents who built the cottage) was important.  Meghan loved it there and she wanted Adam's friends to see it.

On Friday evening, Pam and I went back to the RV and Brad and Sue and Reid came out on Saturday morning.
They stayed until after lunch and then went to the airport to catch flights back home.  Pam and I then drove up to be with everyone at the Bradley cottage.

The cottage is a wonderful place full of great memories.  In the past couple of years Adam and Meghan have been there many times.  The Bakers spend a good part of the summer there.  Last year (July 2009) we stayed at an RV campground nearby and visited for the first time.  The more you spend time there the more attached you become.  It is a special place and Meghan wanted her ashes spread there.

Sunday proved to be a bit of a rainy, cloudy day and we spent the day inside.  We talked, ate, watched some golf and hockey, worked on a puzzle and talked some more.  It was another very important time for Meghan's parents,  Adam and Meghan's friends, for us and for Adam.

Most of the friends had to return home and did so on Sunday afternoon.  But first, Adam and Kyle took a canoe ride out into the bay.
We stayed until about noon on Monday.  Kelly came with us, Adam went back to Petrolia with the Bakers and Asia was with them.

The whole week was filled with deep emotion:  sadness, mourning, grief --- and a wonderful time of reflection and hope and a sense that things will be OK.  The process has started but will take all of us time.  It is hard to write how much we miss Meghan.  We don't get too far ahead of ourselves.  Ideas of 'what is next' come and our plans are unfolding a little more each day.

Adam is slowly putting together his plan for the future and is taking it day by day.  It is really wonderful to see the progress.  At the same time, I know grief takes time and there will be good days and bad days.  But we have hope and just as God brought us through last week, I know He will continue to help us all in the days ahead.  My heart continues to go out for Adam and for Meghan's parents Bill and Marg.

I needed to go back a bit.  I can't believe it all happened last week.  Thanks for being part of the Roadrunner Chronicles and viewing today.


  1. Randy and Pam
    Thanks for the post and for letting us share this time with you. We keep Adam and Meghan's parents as well as you all in our prayers for God's healing and strength at this time. You have wonderful friends and a special family. You are blessed!

    Mike & Gerri (happytrails)

  2. I am so sorry for your family, Adam, and Meghan's family. She was such a courageous girl. I know you will all miss her.

  3. What a beautiful tribute to Meghan. She had to have touched many lives in her short time here. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Adam and to Meghan's parents and also to you. It does take a long time, but things do get better. Life goes on and Meghan would want Adam to live his life to the fullest. Even tho you miss her, she is in good hands now.

  4. Randy, Pam, Adam and Family, we are so very sorry. A loss of this magnitude is unreal and so unfair. Our hearts go out to you and we send our deepest sympathies to you all.